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September 27, 2013
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1+1 by Trackdancer 1+1 by Trackdancer
Chibi IA: Okay, so why did you drag me down here again Gumi?
Chibi Gumi: Well I've just finished reprogramming Funnel here and I just wanted to show you!
Chibi IA: So why me? Like I'm really interested in retarded robo dogs right?
Chibi Gumi: Well, I asked you because you're supposed to be smart. Like you keep telling us that all the time right?
Chibi IA: Yeah true and it's because I'm smart that's why I'm asking you cuz you know full well I'm not into robot anything. Like why didn't you ask Miku for example? Like she's the one most likely to share the same retarded interest as you.
Chibi Gumi: Well, I did ask her but her sister just bought her a PS4 so she's not available anytime soon ...
Chibi IA: Har - so I'm just a fallback. Right, I'm soooo interested. Bye I'm leaving.
Chibi Gumi: WAIT!!!
Chibi IA: Huh?
Chibi Gumi: I'll make it worth your while.
Chibi IA: You're always broke due to these stupid experiments so I know you have no money.
Chibi Gumi: Well I can pay you "in kind" ... OK? Anything but being your "slave for life". Just ask!
Chibi IA: Go shopping with me to Ginza after this.
Chibi Gumi: Only if we can swing by Akihabara on the way back.
Chibi IA: You got no money ...
Chibi Gumi: Lend me some?
Chibi IA: Right I'm leaving ...
Chibi Gumi: WAIT ... I'll sleep with you!
Chibi IA: ...
Chibi Gumi: In the nude too!
Chibi IA: Bye ...
Chibi Gumi: OK, OK, I'll let you copy my math homework for a week.
Chibi IA: Make it a month and you've got yourself a deal.
Chibi Gumi: Sheesh, IA you drive a hard bargain. OK, a month then.

Chibi IA: Right then, what do you want me to do here?
Chibi Gumi: Just ask Funnel some questions. I improved his AI so he can answer anything.
Chibi IA: Answer anything? Like he can't even talk.
Chibi Gumi: No worries he'll bark his answers. Just try it. Give him a math problem to solve.
Chibi IA: Well OK ... what's 1+1 Funnel?

BAKA

Chibi IA: ... that's the answer?

BAKA

Chibi IA: Well he got it wrong.
Chibi Gumi: No he answered in binary - like doh, he's a computer.
Chibi IA: He still got it wrong. 01 bin + 01 bin = 10 bin so ...
Chibi Gumi: No wait, he did "BAKA" twice.
Chibi IA: ...
Chibi Gumi: What you don't believe me? Try something else.
Chibi IA: I'm getting the feeling that this is a total waste of time ...
Chibi Gumi: He can spell too you know!
Chibi IA: Him spell? He can't even talk ...
Chibi Gumi: Just try it!
Chibi IA: *sigh* Well OK, Funnel, spell "retard".

BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA,

Chibi IA: That was it? Like I'm really impressed ...
Chibi Gumi: No he did spell it!
Chibi IA: Oh yeah? How so?
Chibi Gumi: There were six "BAKAs" and there's six letters in the word "retard"!
Chibi IA: But I asked him to spell "retard", not count the number of letters in the word "retard", retard.
Chibi Gumi: Hey you got to work within the limitations of my budget. I won't be able to buy him a voice synthesizer until I next get my pocket money. Unless of course you want to make me a loan.
Chibi IA: No ...
Chibi Gumi: I'll pay interest!
Chibi IA: You're beginning to sound like a Democrat ...
Chibi Gumi: Hey, if adults can do it why not kids? But why are we dragging politics into this anyway? And FYI, if I had a vote it would be for the Green Party.
Chibi IA: Why doesn't that surprise me?
Chibi Gumi: Oh, BTW Funnel can answer political questions too.
Chibi IA: Oh really?
Chibi Gumi: Yeah just try it. Ask him something about current affairs!
Chibi IA: *sigh* Well, whatever. OK Funnel, should Obama bomb Syria?

BAKA

Chibi IA: *rolls eyeballs* Well am I to take that as a "yes" or a "no"?
Chibi Gumi: I think that's more like a "it depends" answer ...
Chibi IA: And how do you know that? One "BAKA" sounds the same as another "BAKA"!
Chibi Gumi: Well I programmed him so I should know.
Chibi IA: Yeah ... really ... ask him anything right?
Chibi Gumi: Yep, I'm confident he can answer any question in the Universe!
Chibi IA: If you say so ... Funnel, what do you think of your mistress? And to be clear that her right there.

BAKA

Chibi IA: Sounds about right to me ...
Chibi Gumi: *squinting* No seriously, ask him a really serious question. You're suppose to be the smart one, ask him something meaningful.
Chibi IA: Yeah and how is a robo dogs who only has one word in its vocabulary going to answer ... hmmm ... say for example a philosophical question?
Chibi Gumi: Well he can. I asked him if there really were such things as aliens from outer space and ...
Chibi IA: Don't tell me, his answer was "BAKA".
Chibi Gumi: Right ... hey wait ... I don't like the way you said that ...
Chibi IA: Well at least I can put emphasis into my pronunciations.
Chibi Gumi: Well he's got no lips.
Chibi IA: And from what I seen so far no brains either.
Chibi Gumi: You don't believe me do you?
Chibi IA: About him being able to answer philosophical questions? Well, frankly, no.
Chibi Gumi: Just try it. I dare you!
Chibi IA: *sigh* I don't even know why I'm bothered doing this ...
Chibi Gumi: Because you want to copy my math homework.
Chibi IA: Well, true. OK then, I'll try but honestly I think it's a total waste of time.
Chibi Gumi: I'm confident that he can answer even philosophical questions just like one of the great philosophers.
Chibi IA: This I have really have to see ... OK Funnel: "What's the meaning of Life?"

BAKA

Chibi IA: *sigh* Now why wasn't I surprised by that answer?
Chibi Gumi: No, no, he answered it.
Chibi IA: Oh yeah? How so?
Chibi Gumi: He just told you "BAKA".
Chibi IA: Wait, let me get this straight. The "Meaning of Life" is "BAKA"? To quote you, "that does not compute".
Chibi Gumi: What he means is that you're a "BAKA" for asking a machine a question like: "What is the meaning of Life?" Like doh, he's a machine. He'll have no conception of what it means to be "alive". Like you're supposed to be smart and know these things right?
Chibi IA: *glare* It's interesting how you twist things ... but two can play at that game.
Chibi Gumi: Wait ... hang on ... what are you thinking IA? I don't like that look in your eyes ...
Chibi IA: I'm just going to ask your robo pet another question, that's all. Why? Are you worried that I would ask it something that would cause Funnel to blow up or something?
Chibi Gumi: Hmmph ... you thought you had me there didn't you? Well guess what, I've programmed his AI to be able to deal with anything. So do your worse IA!
Chibi IA: Don't cry if he blows up ...
Chibi Gumi: He won't blow up ... I think ...
Chibi IA: *smug look* Funnel: "What is the sum of Infinity+Infinity?"

Funnel does not respond ...

5 mins later ...

Chibi Gumi is sweating whilst Chibi IA is looking smug

10 mins later ...

Funnel still does not respond ...

30 mins later ...

Chibi IA: I think he crashed.
Chibi Gumi: Nope, his system lights are still green. Besides his tail is wagging and that indicates he's calculating.

The next day ...

Chibi IA: Well is he done yet?
Chibi Gumi: Nope he's still working on it.
Chibi IA: You know there's no answer to that question right?
Chibi Gumi: Well depends who you ask ...
Chibi IA: Well whatever, in the mean time where's you math homework?
Chibi Gumi: It's upstairs, let's go get it.

A week later ...

Chibi IA: He's still not done? May be you should hit his reset button. I think he's in an infinite loop.
Chibi Gumi: Nah, he's fine. He would reset himself if he came across a calculation with an infinite loop.
Chibi IA: After a week?
Chibi Gumi: Hey, he's not a super computer. Like I can only buy so much computing power on my allowance.
Chibi IA: If you ask me, he crashed. You might want to turn him off before he starts smoking as well. Like this would not be the first time you fried a robot.
Chibi Gumi: Hang on, I think he's doing something.

BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA,

CLICK



Chibi IA: He crashed didn't he ... ha-ha.
Chibi Gumi: Nope, he figured out the answer, but we don't have to hear the whole thing as it'll take forever.
Chibi IA: Yeah really ...
Chibi Gumi: Girl Scout's honor!
Chibi IA: You're not even a Girl Scout ...
Chibi Gumi: I was in elementary school, I even got a carrot badge!
Chibi IA: Admit it, he crashed.
Chibi Gumi: No he didn't!
Chibi IA: Yes he did!
Chibi Gumi: No he didn't
Chibi IA: Yes he did!
Chibi Gumi: No he didn't
Chibi IA: Yes he did!
Chibi Gumi: No he didn't
Chibi IA: Yes he did!
Chibi Gumi: No he didn't
Chibi IA: Yes he did!
Chibi Gumi: No he didn't
Chibi IA: Yes he did!
Chibi Gumi: No he didn't

BAKAS

And with that last declaration Funnel finally shut down.

Chibi IA: I thought you turned him off.
Chibi Gumi: I did ...

The two chibis look at each other then run screaming out of the laboratory to look for a robo ghost exorcist. As for Funnel, he just restarted himself and gave himself a good scratch.

CREDITS


Chibi IA: Mqdl/Kiyo
Chibi Gumi: Mamama/Trackdancer
Funnel: ~DaSchu
MME: Serious Shader / Rule of Thirds
Software: MMD 8.03 / Photoshop 7
:iconjoey1058:
Joey1058 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Good story as usual!
Reply
:icontrackdancer:
Trackdancer Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Thank you :)
Reply
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